Falling
by Enigmatic Ellie
Summary: Josh trips over his mouth and must rush to make politcal amends on the eve of the Inauguration, but there's another kind of trouble on the horizon.
1. Up In The Air

Body **Title:** Falling (Part I): Up in the Air   
**Author:** Ellie   
**Website: **http:/**/**wing_nuts.tripod.com   
**Notes**:_ A story, in three parts, about the fateful events on the eve of President Bartlet's second term._

White House Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman looked at his watch and winced. He was cutting it close. There was the ceremony on the Hill and then that other thing to take care of before he could even think about his evening plans. It was an odd concept, having plans for the evening. He shook his head as he made his way through the nearly empty halls of the West Wing. He was enjoying the relative quiet of the late morning. However, his pleasure was short lived as he rounded the corner and approached his bullpen. 

"It would be like a day without orange juice, wouldn't it, Josh?" CJ Cregg snarled as she appeared in his doorway. "You couldn't let it slide, not even once. The man is an influential US Senator!" 

"I am an influential person, too," he retorted. 

"You're an infantile person," she snapped with her wide eyes wild and quivering in their sockets. "This is a man whose support we need, if I'm hearing Leo and Toby correctly. I realize that you were baited into making a comment..." 

"I was," he agreed. 

"I also realize that the fact that certain people breathe the same air as you is considered baiting in your book," CJ continued. 

Josh brushed off the lecture with a wave of his hand. He had endured similar ones from both Leo and Toby for half an hour that morning. Sam Seaborn agreed that Josh had perhaps gone a bit far in admonishing the senator the previous afternoon on the capitol steps. Only Sam didn't quite say so. It was the look on his face that told the story. 

"You're going to fix this, right?" CJ asked as she followed him into his office. 

"Don't I always?" 

"Always?" she said. "Good word. It connotes the perpetuity of your stupidity! Josh, couldn't you have waited 24 hours? One day. That's all I ask. I mean, the President has even been sworn in again and already you're picking fights!" 

"First, it wasn't a fight," he assured her. "It was a verbal disagreement held in civilized tones that no camera or microphone caught. Next, and more important to me, I'd like to point out that no one has yet to say I was wrong." 

"Well, of course you weren't," CJ said. "But that's really beside the point. Fix this!" 

"I'm on it," he said grabbing his jacket. "Calm down, CJ. Senator Hannah and I have an understanding. We're both intelligent men, though you gotta agree that, in a basic battle of wits, the man is not in my league." 

"Humility, Josh," she said. "Learn that word before you get to Virginia!" 

"It's under control," he said easily. 

She sighed and turned deftly on her heel. Josh looked briefly out his window. The cloud ceiling was falling steadily but though the skies were gray there was no rain or snow yet. The temperature was edging toward the low 40s. Fair inaugural weather, he though. 

"Donna!" he yelled as he peered into the gray flannel above. "Donna!" 

"Stop shouting," she said calmly in his doorway. "You really need to work on that." 

"On what?" 

"Your yelling," she said. "It's distracting to people who are working." 

"Okay, maybe but there's two things wrong with that statement," he said. "First, no one is working right now and second, I'm your boss. I'm allowed to be distracting." 

She looked at him unmoved. He stared back at her expectantly and made an emphatic gesture with his hands. 

"Well?" he said. 

"What?" 

"Are we going?" he asked. "I have precisely one hour to watch this thing before I have to hop a plane to Virginia. You arranged it all, right?" 

"Yes, but I need to know one thing," she said. 

"What?" 

"Why are you flying?" she asked. "It's like a one hour drive." 

"I'm flying there because it's like a three hour drive," he said. "I don't want to spend the entire evening on the road." 

Donna walked to the outer office to grab her coat. Josh stood in his doorway, making no move to help. She cast him a brief perturbed glance and shook her head. 

"It would serve you right if you had to drive all night," Donna said. "It's your fault you have to go to Virginia at all." 

"Thanks for the support, Donna," he said. 

"I do support you," she said. "In fact, I do it so well so often, I've begun to wonder if I'm enabling your behavior. We really should work on your impulse control." 

"Yeah, let's do that," he said. 

"Really?" 

"No," he said shaking his head. 

"I still think you shouldn't get off this easy, if not for this, then for what you did to me," she said. "You sabotaged my date for the inaugural ball." 

"We are not back to that again," he protested. "Donna, sabotage is an ugly word that implies premeditation." 

"Josh..." 

"Donna, you should thank me," he said. "I did you a favor. You stood him up once, and he cast you aside like a leper. I mean, it couldn't be clearer. The guy obviously has issues. Do you need someone with issues in your life?" 

"Afraid of the competition?" 

"I do not have issues," he said. "I'm complex. Didn't you read the cover story in _Time_ last week? The word they used was _'complex_.' " 

"Complex is a word used by someone who is sucking up to a man with issues," Donna replied tossing her head. "And I'd like to point out that your ego has yet again turned my dilemma into a discussion about you." 

"Sounds like you're the one with the issues," he offered with the hint of a smile. "Look, I'm sorry your date fell through." 

"Are you really?" 

"No, not really, but it seemed like the polite thing to say," he replied. "Look, I told you I would make it up to you. You can take a day off." 

"When?" 

"Some time," he said. "When I don't need you here." 

"But I still have to go the inaugural ball alone," she said. "I'm one of the most eligible women in Washington, Josh." 

"Right." 

"I am an erudite conversationalist," she continued unhindered. "I am well-read, considered quite attractive and fashionable. But do I have a date to the social event of the year?" 

"No, and do you know how I know this?" 

"Because I keep telling you," she replied. 

"Yes, hourly," he remarked. "I think you're taking a very narrow view of the facts if you thinks it's my fault you missed your date." 

"You insisted that I stay here until 3 a.m. to help you research the historical and constitutional trends of immigration restrictions on contiguous territory," she informed him. 

"Which I thanked you for," he said hesitantly, then paused as she glared at him. "Didn't I?" 

"No." 

"Well, I'm sure I meant to," he said. "I'll make it up to you." 

"A day off at some unspecified point is not good enough, Josh," she said. "It doesn't solve the problem of me going alone tonight." 

"Donna, are you that insecure?" 

"I am not insecure," she said confidently. 

"Then is it really that much of a problem?" 

"Yes," she said. "It doesn't look good." 

"You shouldn't put so much stock in appearances," he told her. 

"Is that the new motto of your fan club?" she asked. "This is a special event, Josh. The inaugural ball is a place to be seen. Look, you graduated from Harvard and Yale and have all the connections in the world to set yourself up after the president finishes his last term. I do not. I need to market myself. I'm out of a job in four years." 

"Or maybe sooner." 

She ignored his comment as she donned her coat. 

"Besides, walking in alone is... well, it's depressing," she said. "Everyone who is anyone wants to be at this event, but I managed to not find a date." 

"Fine, I'll take you," he said. "You won't have to walk in alone. Satisfied?" 

"Let's go!" CJ shouted. "If we're not out there by the time the President arrives, I'll never hear the end of it, and therefore neither will you. And Josh, you're already never going to hear the end of your latest fiasco. But I've got to thank you. It gave me a great gift idea for your next birthday." 

"Really," he said anxiously. "What?" 

"Lobotomy," CJ said. 

Josh let the comment slide as he and Donna followed the raging press secretary. They exited the building with Josh and CJ squabbling over how he should approach his meeting in Virginia. They ceased their wrangling only when they took their places on the Capital Hill dais. The rest of the staff was already gathered in the stands. They did not wait long for the arrival of the commander-in-chief. The president's motorcade was pulling up as they took their seats. Then the formalities began. 

President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet took the oath and launched into his speech. Beside Josh, Sam could be heard quietly repeating the words in synchronization, words he had begun writing a year earlier when the campaign began in earnest. 

"You're flying?" Toby whispered into Josh's ear. 

"Yeah," Josh said without turning. "I'll be back early this evening." 

"You'll be back when you've fixed this mess," Toby replied. 

"I'll be back with a better deal than we would have gotten had I not opened my mouth," Josh said. "And I will do it with ample time to make it to the party tonight. Sen. Samuel Hannah and I are intelligent men. We will reach an understanding." 

"I don't care what you reach so long as it includes an acceptable apology from you that keeps him in the box for a week until we can launch our education plan," Toby said and leaned back. 

The President's speech concluded half an hour later and the staff piled into the motorcade. It took them back to 1600 Pennsylvanian Avenue where they would watch the parade. 

Inside the west wing, Josh grabbed several files then prepared to leave. 

"No," Donna said as he passed her desk. 

"No what?" he asked stopping in mid-stride. 

"No, I'm not satisfied with your offer," she said and looked at his bewildered expression. "See, you've forgotten already. You'll do the same thing this evening; not that you'll be back in time anyway. You're a very inconsiderate man, Josh." 

"I keep telling you," he said in earnest tones. "It feels better when you say things like that at the top of your lungs. You should try it. Shouting is a good release. Imagine what a stress ball I would be if I kept quiet all the time." 

"Imagine our shock if you did," she said. "And let me point out that (_again_) we weren't talking about you. But if we were, I'd have to say that you are conceited and do not deserve the likes of me as an escort." 

"I'll be there," he said. 

"No, you won't," she said. 

"Donna, I promise," he said. 

"You promised me it wouldn't take long to research the immigration trends," she said. "Nine hours constitutes a long time, Josh." 

"Fine," he relented. "I'll put it in writing. That way it's a contract, a binding agreement that I must honor." 

He grabbed a pad from her desk and scribbled on it. Sam was passing by, heading for the parade stands, when Josh stopped him. 

"Sam, sign this," he said handing him a pen. 

"Sure," Sam said and briefly reading it. "Am I understanding this? In essence, you are promising not to forget to bring Donna to the Inaugural Ball tonight under penalty of... well, basically shouting by the aforementioned party in front of the entire staff without a single syllable of protest from you?" 

"Yeah." 

Sam laughed. "Oh, like that's gonna happen." 

"Shut up and sign it," Josh said. 

"Okay," Sam agreed while penning his name. "Donna, if you want to run through some choice adjectives later, I'm offering my time and many suggestions." 

"Thank you," she said, palming her contract. 

"You leaving now?" Sam asked as Josh grabbed his bag. 

"Yeah, I got this thing in Virginia," he said looking at his watch. "It's 1:30 now... I'll be back by seven, eight at the outside. Donna, your place, 8:30. Don't still be playing with your hair." 

"Ha! If you think I'm going to spend my entire afternoon getting ready for a date with..." she scoffed as he hurried down the hall. "Hey! Josh!" 

"What do you need?" Sam asked. 

"I need to work with him on his social skills," she sighed. "He didn't say good-bye." 

*************************************************** 

"Yeah, McGarry," Leo said brusquely into his phone. 

"Leo." 

"Josh." 

"I've been trying to call you for the last half hour," Josh said. "Margaret kept saying you were too busy. Then I called back again, and it took you six rings to answer." 

"Well, I'm kinda busy here, Josh," Leo said. "I just got the president sworn in and am preparing to launch his next administration. You might not believe it, but some members of the staff make that job a little more difficult than others." 

"You don't need to get hostile, Leo." 

"I trust you have news," Leo said. "It's 5:30. I told you to call every hour." 

"I thought you wanted to know when it was fixed?" 

"I did," Leo replied. "I also wanted you to call every hour. That's why I said: Josh call me every hour and let me know when it's fixed." 

"Well, I'll let you know," he said. 

"It's not?" 

"Almost," he said. "Fred Drummer...." 

"Hannah's chief of staff?" 

"Yeah, he and I are close to getting somewhere," Josh said. "Hannah's driving back to DC tonight so he can think things over; he's actually driving himself." 

"Why?" 

"He said he thinks better when he drives." 

"Right," Leo said looking at his watch. "Did you apologize?" 

"Sort of." 

"By sort of you mean no?" 

"Yeah," Josh said. "I told you, Leo. Trust me. We'll reach an understanding. Look, they're gonna cancel the later flights." 

"Weather?" Leo asked glancing at the sky that had grown darker by the hour. 

"Yeah, it's coming in quicker than they expected," Josh said. "Anyway, Fred's a pilot. He's got his own plane. He says if we leave now, we can beat it. So, I'm flying back with him. Hannah's gonna call when he gets to DC and tell me what he thinks about what I said." 

"Which wasn't an apology?" 

"No." 

"Josh, fix this thing." 

"Leo, don't worry," Josh assured him. "It's under control. I've gotta go. Fred's ready. I'll be back in an hour." 

"You're sure it's okay to take off?" 

"Hey, I'm just the passenger," Josh said. 

"Should you wait?" 

"No can do," he said. "I helped us win this thing, Leo. I'll be damned if Sam and Toby get to take my share of the credit. Besides, I got a contract to fulfill or else Sam is gonna write a speech for Donna so she can call me names." 

"What?" 

"Nothing. Gotta go." 

Leo hung up and sighed in the exasperate way he was only able to conjure with Josh. He turned his eyes again toward the cloaked skies and shook his head then shrugged. 

************************** 

"CJ," Josh's voice sounded far off with the static over the line. 

"Where are you?" she asked. "Did you apologize?" 

"I just talked to Leo 15 minutes ago," he said. "You don't have to worry. I'm on it." 

"Wonderful, Josh," she said flatly. "But I can't help but think how much better I would feel if you said 'I fixed it' or maybe if you just hadn't opened your mouth to begin with..." 

"CJ..." 

"Where are you?" she asked. "I can barely hear you?" 

"I can't get Leo back on the phone so give him a message," he said distantly through a wall of static. "I'm meeting with Hannah before we take off so I'll be a little later than....." 

"Apologize, Joshua," she said and disconnected when it appeared the connection was lost. 

************************ 

Donna Moss sat on her couch wearing her newly-purchased, designer knockoff and tried to look passive. She held in her hands the now-damp note bearing Josh's handwriting. The words were smeared from having been held of so long. She looked at the clock. The hands were about to reach nine. She had begun composing in her head an indignant speech around 8:35. She was preparing to call a cab when the knock on her door arrived. 

She jumped from her seat and hurried to the mirror in her bathroom to check that her make-up was still pristine and her dress draping appropriate. Her blond tresses were swept up in a loose and sultry fashion that accented her eyes and delicate cheekbones. The dress was worth every penny. It was slate blue silk with spaghetti straps with a plunging back. The rich fabric clung to her body as though it was made only for her. She took one last look in the mirror and practiced her aloof expression. He would be wearing his tuxedo, and she did not want to be phased by formal attire; she was mad and he would hear it. She took a single deep breath before opening the door. 

Before her stood Sam Seaborn, dressed in top coat and tuxedo. What Donna noted first was that he was wearing his glasses; it was a sign she did not like. It meant he was working. She sensed something was awry but pushed aside those thoughts as she glanced down the hall in search of another face. 

"I didn't want you to be waiting," Sam said. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Wrong?" he repeated with a stilted expression. 

"Where's Josh?" 

"Uh, he's not here yet," Sam said. "You should come with me for now." 

Donna grabbed the sheer wrap that matched her dress and followed Sam to the waiting limo. Snow was falling as the winter storm that was not supposed to hit until the following day made its own appearance for the inaugural festivities. The revised reports indicated the storm would clear the area soon. Donna hurried to the car trying not to spatter her dress with the slush on the ground. 

She sat silently the rest of the ride as Sam watched the city slide by the tainted windows and sighed occasionally. Her stomach was uneasy, but she refused to speculate. Whatever Josh had done this time, he would find a way to fix it. Probably. 

They arrived at their destination and emerged in a hail of flashbulbs. They crossed the red carpet with Sam grasping her elbow. She wondered fleetingly who he was looking to support, her or himself. Together they entered the impressive ballroom that was festooned with flags and swags and a sea of gowns and tails. The music and commotion were dizzying compared to the desolate silence on the limousine. 

"Leo's in the back," Sam said as he ushered her toward the back of the room. 

In a small conference room guarded by Secret Service agents, President Bartlet and Leo were talking in hushed tones. Sam peeled off instantly and made a call on his cell phone. CJ and Toby were locked in conversation and refused to meet Donna's eyes. 

"Donna," Leo said beckoning to her. 

"You look lovely tonight, Donna," President Bartlet said. 

"Thank you, Mr. President," she said. "Leo, where's Josh?" 

"Sam didn't tell you?" Leo asked and shot a dagger glare at the Deputy Communications Director who caught the look and winced. 

"What's happened?" she asked. 

Toby approached with CJ in tow. Their faces were drawn and serious. They looked at her with pained expressions. CJ opened her mouth, but no words emerged. Toby sighed after a moment then found his voice. 

"Josh changed plans a the last minute," Toby said lowly. "He decided to fly back in a private plane with Fred Drummer." 

"He called me," CJ said absentmindedly. "He said they were going to be delayed so he could make a last ditch effort with Hannah. I was so mad that he hadn't apologized." 

"He's still in Virginia?" Donna asked. 

"According to the tower, the plane took off at 6:15--against advice from air traffic control," Toby said. "It was supposed to land a little after seven." 

"Supposed to?" 

"Donna," Leo said calmly. "The plane dropped off radar about half an hour into the flight." 

Donna cupped her hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp. She trembled for a moment then managed to speak. 

"They crashed?" Donna asked. A cold bolt of pain stabbed at her stomach. She bit her lip and held her breath. 

"We don't know that," Sam interjected vehemently. "The plane is only listed as being late right now." 

"It's been two hours," she said. 

"Two hours is only late," Leo remarked. 

"But it went down?" 

"We don't know," Sam continued. "It just isn't on radar. There's bad weather all around us. I know Fred. He's a good pilot. He might have put down in a field to be safe." 

"What about the radio?" Donna asked. 

"Nothing," Toby said. 

"Josh has his phone," she said. "Did you try it?" 

Toby sighed and looked away giving her the answer she dreaded. 

"We don't know anything for certain," Leo said. "There were no distress calls and so far no reports of... of..." 

"Crashes?" she offered. 

"Crash related activity," Leo relented. "They didn't file a flight plan so we aren't one hundred percent sure where they were specifically, but we have a general idea. The weather is breaking. When it's safe to take off, a search will be launched from the air. Ground rescue crews have already been alerted." 

"Why did they take off with a storm coming?" Donna asked. 

"They thought they could beat it," Leo said. "Josh was hell-bent on being here." 

"It's his night as much as mine," the President said. "It belongs to all of you. This is not the way I want to start this term." 

"No sir," Leo agreed. "Let me say again, we don't know anything for certain." 

Donna let her eyes fall out of focus. She was aware of Leo offering her a chair. She sat for lack of anything better to do; she didn't care that it was breaking protocol with the President in the room. It hardly seemed to matter. 

"He didn't say good-bye," Donna said quietly. 

"He also didn't apologize to Senator Hannah or fix his mess," Leo said gruffly. "He told me he would do that. I have never known Josh to fail me. His wins aren't always pretty, but he gets it done. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't have enough information right now to believe that has changed." 

"Yet," Toby offered morosely. 

"Thank you, Toby," President Bartlet said. "You're a real rock in a storm. Leo, let's go out there, and get this damn party going; I want updates every 15 minutes." 

Donna stared at the scrap of paper in her hands now turning to lint. Josh's scrawl was obscured and illegible. She smoothed the fragile slip then carefully folded it into her palm again and held it tight. All around her, there were sporadic conversations on phones. Each ended with an order that sounded like a pray and a plea for information as soon as possible. Sam and CJ drifted in and out of the room periodically with grave expressions. From the noise in the adjacent room, Donna surmised the President had made his grand entrance and had his ceremonial dance with the First Lady. Leo stayed in the back with his cell phone attached to his ear. Toby made calls and signaled each back to Leo with a terse shake of his head. 

A multitude of images whirling around in Donna's head making her dizzy. Watching Josh disappear at the end of the hall as he left that afternoon, the elated look on his face on election night when the pivital electoral votes swung to the President; the quizzical expression he wore the first time she laid eyes upon him in New Hampshire years earlier. The images blurred together. She forced them back and tried to not think of Josh as he was. She was afraid to do so. It seemed like an act of finality. Instead, she stared at the door, willing him to breeze in sounding his own accolades about his trip to Virginia. She was so fixated on the door that she neither saw nor heard anything else in the room for a while. She was startled by a hand placed on her knee. 

She snapped her eyes downward to see Sam squatting before her with a concerned expression. 

"Donna, can I get you anything?" he asked. 

She wanted to say, "answers," but knew it would be inappropriate. Sam was distraught as well. She knew he was doing everything in his power to get the information she desperately wanted. She shook her head. 

"Okay," he said. "How are you holding up?" 

Donna shrugged. She wanted to say something chic, something to show she was strong and that she had faith this would all be resolved positively, but the words were not there. She remembered this feeling from the emergency room after shooting. The difference was at that time there was an information source. The doctors were working; the experts were trying. This time, there was just waiting. 

"I'm good at forbearance," she said finally. "It's a prerequisite for working with Josh." 

"You need it," Sam agreed as he offered a strained smile. "Patience is not his forte." 

"He would disagree, of course," Donna said. 

"Of course, because most people to fly off the handle and proclaim: _'I'm so sick of Congress I could vomit_.' Very composed and very eloquent of him, no?" 

"He could benefit from practicing impulse control from time to time," she agreed. 

"You're very good to him, Donna," Sam said. "He's not easy to work for, but you manage. He probably never said so, but he appreciates it." 

"He does," she said. "I mean, he says it, but not like you did. Josh.... He has his own, special way." 

"Well, he's as sensitive as a callous some days," Sam said. 

"I know," she said. "But not always. He did offer to be my escort tonight after I accused him of wrecking my date." 

She paused and looked at the note she was clenching in her fist. Sam saw this and placed a comforting hand on her wrist. 

"It's not your fault," Sam said. "He made a decision. Josh thinks for himself and does what he thinks is best. He wanted to be here tonight." 

"Yeah," she said. "He probably would have forgotten me anyway." 

"No, he wouldn't," Sam assured her. "That I know. Donna, Josh..." 

Toby, standing in the corner on his phone, snapped his fingers to get Sam's attention. Sam left Donna's side and the two men spoke briefly in hushed tones. 

"Are they certain?" Sam asked after a moment. 

"What is it?" Donna asked. 

Sam looked sick as he eyed Toby, who shook his head then sighed. 

"There is a report of a probable crash site just outside Carterville, Virginia," Toby said. "It's pretty rough terrain so it's not like anyone can get to it easily. The NTSB is on route." 


	2. Borrowed Time

Body **Title**: Falling (part II): Borrowed Time   
**Author**: Ellie   
**Website:** http://wing_nuts.tripod.com   
**Notes**: From "Falling (part I): Up in the Air": _Josh's plane was reported missing the night of President Bartlet's second Inauguration. Josh was supposed to escort Donna to the inaugural ball to make up for sabotaging her date. The NTSB had just reported locating a probable crash site._

Crash site. 

Donna heard Toby say the words and felt like she was sinking through the floor. She could hear a ringing in her ears as the words echoed in the room. Everyone stood still as statues, locked in some cosmic trance. Donna was the first to break free. 

"What else?" Donna asked. 

"Nothing," Toby said. "That's really all I have." 

Leo entered holding up his phone and asked Toby if he had just gotten a message about the finding. Toby nodded. 

"Is there a chance that it's not..." Donna began. 

"Yes," Sam said instantly, ever hopeful. "There's a chance. Toby, there's a chance, right?" 

"Sure," he said glibly. "In a perfect world, there would be a chance. But no other craft is missing and the site is along a generally logical flight path from the airport to so I'd say the chances were between slim and none." 

"Toby!" Leo stopped him with a growl. 

"Look, Leo, I'm just being realistic," Toby said. "I'm not enjoying this, and I don't see a reason to waste our time with probabilities that are unlikely. Why did he have to be so stupid?!" 

"He's not stupid," Sam said. "This is not Josh's fault." 

"Well, indirectly it is," Toby said petulantly. "I can be mad at him, Sam. Don't tell me I can't. This was an absolute waste." 

"We all live on borrowed time," President Bartlet said sweeping into the room. 

"What was that, sir?" Leo asked. 

"We all live on borrowed time," he repeated solemnly. "Josh said that to me once during the first campaign. We were discussing the serendipity of some people surviving starvation in some countries or civil wars in others. He surprised me with his response. It wasn't sarcastic for once. It was... enlightening. He said we all live on borrowed time because, despite what the Declaration of Independence claims, there really is nothing that insures anyone gets to live beyond the first breath he or she ever draws. The truth is that the moment you start your life is the first step toward it's end. I thought that was obscenely depressing and told him so, but I also thought it was insightful in a way I might never have discovered on my own." 

"He learned that when he was a child," Donna said listlessly. 

"Yes, I suppose he did," the President nodded sagely. "An amazing thing about our Josh, he knew that horrible truth almost from the start and still allowed himself to dream he might be able to do something to make this world better. I find it more inspiring since I know he learned the essence of life's ugliest lesson before he learned it was a cliché." 

"Life's not fair," Toby offered solemnly. 

"Precisely," the President said. "But I prefer to pose it differently. Life is full of surprises. In my experience, I have learned that Josh is full of surprises, too. He may still be. This room feels like a wake in progress. I'd like to remind you all that we don't know any more facts now that we did an hour ago. I would suggest..." 

He stopped mid-sentence as Toby's phone chirped. 

"Yes," Toby answered instantly. "Uh huh.... Okay..... Yes.... Are you certain?" 

Donna's heart hammered in her chest. Her body tingled, and there was a ringing in her ears as she watched Toby. He pinched his eyebrows then looked at the staff and merely nodded silently. He continued speaking for several more seconds, making requests. 

"I'm going out there," Sam said instantly. 

"Wait," Leo barked. 

Toby disconnected then took a deep breath. He redialed the phone and sighed heavily as he spoke four heart-wrenching words. 

"Yeah, it's Toby," he said then paused. "Thanks." 

He closed his phone then summoned the strength to lift his head. When he spoke again, it was in a strained and low voice. 

"Krammer at NTSB confirms a downed craft about 20 miles outside Carterville," he said. "There is a lot of wreckage strewn over a wide area. There has been no formal identification of the craft, but a cursory investigation indicates it is the same model as the one owned by Fred Drummer." 

"Anything else?" Leo asked. 

"Yeah," he said painfully. "In the debris field, Krammer discovered a bag that contained among other things a cellphone. I just dialed Josh's. Krammer answered." 

"Oh God," CJ said placing her face in her hands. "So they're sure..." 

"They just arrived," Toby said. "They found the bag almost right off. The rest of the wreckage is very broken up and not all of it has been located. There is no report yet of... casualties." 

"I'm going," Sam said again. 

"Stay put, Sam," Leo said. "We'll get you out there when we need to. Let NTSB do their job." 

The air pressure in the room was oppressive. Donna could no longer take it. She stood abruptly and walked out the door. Sam called after her emphatically. 

"Donna!" 

"I need to be alone, Sam," she called over her shoulder. 

Donna elbowed her way politely but hurriedly across the dance floor and out into the hall. It took forever before she was able to clear a path. She passed people and caught snatches of conversation. The news was spreading, but that did not seem to dampen the mood. The thought that some might be glad Josh was not there brought a sour taste into Donna's mouth. 

She needed air. Once free of the ballroom, she hurried down the hall and made her way to the terrace. The snow had stopped and the wind died down. She looked toward the sky and stared until the rest of the world melted away. 

The stars shown clearly. It was a perfect, calm night. She felt the cold on her alabaster skin but knew her trembles had nothing to do with the temperature. 

She stood alone in the chilly air, waiting for the pain. It was lurking deep inside, she knew. 

She placed her hands on the smooth, marble railing that surrounded the terrace. It was hard and cold like ice. Her hands felt fiercely hot as she pressed them to its polished surface. She took deep breaths, one after the other, watching the freezing plumes, like lost souls vanishing into the night. 

The minutes ticked by as the realization settled in. She pictured him, standing at her desk, forging the sweet yet idiotic contract. She opened her hands and realized she had dropped it somewhere. 

She had lost it; her final communication with Josh; the sole momento of their last moment together--the last moment when she was certain her life made sense. 

It was then the pain hit, stabbing through her and shredding her soul. 

_ No!_ she thought as the lump in her throat nearly choked her as she looked toward heaven. _I can't lose him!_

_ Dear God, I won't know how I'll live without him. Yes, he's arrogant and caustic and occasionally insensitive. But he is also brilliant, kind and caring._

_ He's a good, decent man. He has so much more to do. This world is a better place for what he has done and will only benefit more from him. You have to give him back. You have to. He has so much left to do. He has friends who care for him and..._

_ Oh God, I can't make it, I won't survive if he's gone. Take me, too._

_ I never got a chance to tell him that I love him. I do._

_ For all his quirks and with all my heart, I do. I do. I do._

"I do," she whispered as the hot sting of tears bit at her eyes_._

"Okay, let me start by saying: you are in breech of contract," said the voice behind her. 

Her heart leapt into her throat and she spun around 

"Josh!" Donna gasped. She turned so abruptly on her heels that she lost her balance. 

"Whoa!" Josh exclaimed as he stepped forward and caught her in his arms. "Well, that was very graceful, Donna." 

"Oh God, Josh!" she shouted and threw her arms around his neck. "You're all right. You're here, and you're all right! Thank God!" 

"Uh huh, but let's get one thing straight," he said hesitantly as he held her close. "The deal was that I would pick you up." 

Her heart was fluttering and found herself laughing silently as she assured herself that he was in fact there. She could see him; she could hear him; she could feel him. She felt lightheaded and giddy, as though she'd drunk too much champagne. 

"I said I wouldn't forget, but if you read the contract, you'd see that I never did give you a specific time," he continued. "I suggested one, but we never ratified it in writing. So, when you left without me, you breached the implicit part of the agreement that you would be there to be picked up. So, you see, you can't be mad at me." 

"I can't?" she said finding her voice again. 

"Technically speaking, no," he replied. 

She wanted to argue but could not find the words. Instead, she held on to him tightly and said a silent, gushing prayer of thanks. Her knees felt weak and her body trembled. 

"I thought...," she said as her throat grew tight again. 

"I know," he said softly, rocking her gently in his arms. "I'm sorry I put everyone through this. When I walked in, Toby nearly had a heart attack. Leo told me what happened. I've been looking for you ever since." 

"They said the plane went down," she said in a shaky voice. 

"It did," he said, gingerly stroking the nape of her neck. "But I didn't get on the plane, Donna. I was about to go with Fred; he already had all my stuff on board. But I told Leo I'd fix this thing. So at the last second, I finagled a ride with Sen. Hannah. I spent four and a half hours in his car trying to sway his opinion while we drove back here. Fred took off alone. I just got back into town an hour ago. I got here as soon as I could. I had no clue anything went wrong. If I did, I would have called. Fred was gonna let Leo know I changed plans so I didn't bother." 

"Did he make it? 

"I don't know," Josh said. "I know less than the rest of you." 

"As usual," Donna said, finally able to breath again. She disentangled herself from the embrace. 

"Donna, it's freezing out here," he said. "You should come inside." 

"No, not yet," she said. "I need a minute. You can go if you like." 

"Nah," he said, taking off his jacket and draping it over her shoulders. He then leaned against the marble railing ringing the terrace. "You know, I think there were a couple people in there who were not happy to see me." 

"They're probably Republicans," she said. 

"When did CJ and Toby become Republicans?" Josh said. 

Donna said nothing. She bowed her head and took a deep breath as she felt hot, prickly tears blister in her eyes then cascade down her cheeks. After a moment, she could feel Josh's eyes on her. She blinked cautiously to clear her vision and looked at him. 

His face held that thoughtful expression, the one he hid so well so often. She only saw it rarely, but she adored it so much. She knew if she said anything in that moment he would not hear it; he was lost in some inner thought that brought peace into his chaotic world. In a second, she knew he would catch himself doing it. He would slowly look away with a slight curl on his lips, and the moment would pass. She lingered, savoring the moment, waiting for it to fade. 

"Let me guess," he said softly, placing his finger tips on her chin and brushing back her tears. "You're crying because you know it's official. You'll have to endure four more years of my shouting." 

She knew he had tried to be flippant, but he had not put the right inflection in his voice. It betrayed the look in his eyes. Normally, she resisted the prickle of such moments. She knew she should look away, make an extraneous comment about world history or something generally innocuous to dispel the feelings welling inside her. She felt drawn to him more than ever and fought the urge as much as she could. Still, she found herself before him, just inches separating their faces. 

She suddenly felt awkward. Her face felt hot and a different kind of shiver wriggled through her body. 

"Your tie is screwed up," she said finding the courage to break the tension. 

She pulled on the ends and started remaking the bow. She could not meet his eyes. She was surprised when he grabbed her hand and stopped her efforts. 

"Uh, we should go inside now," he said nervously as he swallowed hard. 

She shook her head. 

"No, I need some space," she said. 

"Yeah. okay," he said. He nodded curtly before departing as swiftly as he had appeared. 

Donna took a deep breath. She felt foolish. Normally, she hid her feelings better than that. _No, not hid_, she corrected herself; she controlled them. Impulse control. She was always needling Josh about his deficiency in that area, yet part of her wished he would... 

_ No_, she decided, what she was feeling was merely relief. Josh had consoled her as a good friend and nothing more. He came looking for not because he desperately wanted her to know he was alive, but out of decency and curtesy and respect for a colleague. She knew that in a vulnerable moment like this, she was apt to read more into his words and actions. She also knew that to expect anything more of Josh would be both foolish and grossly selfish. She was satisfied that he was safe; nothing more in the world mattered. 

She calmed herself. As she relaxed, she realized she was tired in a way she hadn't noticed until that second. She again looked toward the stars and whispered a frosty thank you into the ether. 

She wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the chill. She then realized she was still wearing his jacket. She inhaled the scent of him. It made her shiver but in a pleasing way. She felt the tension in her stomach uncoil. She sighed contentedly to realize that she would be in the office in the morning, not getting Josh coffee but listening to him grouse about the fact. Maybe he would get into another spat with a member of Congress, and she would hear the intricate details of why it was a bad idea but still the right thing to do. She was smiling at the thought when he startled her again. 

"Donna," Josh said sternly. 

"Josh?" she asked turning around. 

He stood before her, his tie still askew and with his hands in his pockets. There was an intent expression on his face. 

"You didn't ask me," he said sounding defensive. 

"Ask you what?" 

"If I fixed it," he remarked. "You never asked me if I fixed it." 

"Did you?" 

"Yes, don't I always," he said roughly. "But that's not the point. You didn't ask. I told you I spent half the night trying to convince Senator Hannah, but you..." 

"I didn't ask you," she offered. 

"Yes," he responded awkwardly. "I thought that was... I mean, we usually... That is you.... Well, you didn't ask. That's all. That's what I wanted to say." 

"You realize that you are missing the party, the one you insist is given due in great part to your efforts..." 

"Extraordinary efforts," he said. 

"Sure, whatever," she said. "You're missing what's left of the Inaugural Ball because I didn't ask you..." 

"If I fixed it," he said nodding. "Yes. I just thought... Well, you see, you're out here alone and... Well, you didn't...." 

"I didn't ask," she said again. 

"Exactly." 

"Is that all?" 

"Yes, no," he said. "I... uh... I forgot to say I was sorry. I said I would take you. I mean, I said I would bring you to this thing." 

"It's all right," she said. "I understand. You're a complex man, Josh." 

"I have issues," he shrugged as he riveted his eyes to the ground. "I also forgot to say you looked... very nice." 

"Thank..." 

"No, not very nice," he said looking up suddenly. 

"I don't look very nice," she repeated. 

"No," he said. "I mean, yes, but I can think of better words than _very nice_. Sam doesn't have a lock on language. I did score 760 on the verbal portion of my SAT's." 

"But the basic gist of what you're going for is that I look very nice." 

"Yeah, but not those words." 

"Got it," she said. "Thank you. I did my best. I spent an hour on my hair. Very European, don't you think?" 

"I don't like it," he said. "I mean, for something like the Inaugural Ball it's fine. It's really very... uh.." 

"Nice?" she offered. 

"Yeah, but it's better, you know," he said, gently removing the clip that held the strands loosely in place. Her hair spilled over her shoulders. "That's, you know...." 

"Better," she said. 

"Yeah." 

"Josh," she said. "I..." 

"It's late," he said. 

"Yeah," she said. "Long day." 

"Tell me about it," he said. "Not only did I fix things with Senator Hannah, but apparently I rose from the dead, too. That's gotta be worth, what, at least a day off, huh?" 

"At least," she agreed. "So, do I get that day off you promised?" 

"Tomorrow?" he asked incredulously. "Are you kidding me? Donna, you've got to help me get prepped for this thing with Senator Hannah." 

"What thing?" 

"The thing with Senator Hannah," he said. "I told you. I fixed it." 

"Right," she said trying to keep the disappointment from her voice. "So tomorrow, we work on that." 

She wasn't sure if it was the loss of a day off or the fact the conversation was back on the firm ground of business that caused her spirit to sink. _Always so close but never close enough_, she thought. 

"Yeah," he said. "It's... well, it's complicated. It'll be extra work, but it could really be big. We'll discuss it in the morning." 

"It is morning, Josh," she reminded him. "Technically, it has been for half an hour." 

"Not real morning," he argued. 

"It's after midnight," she pointed out. "That's makes it morning." 

"I know it's after midnight," he said. "I know when morning begins, but I meant morning morning." 

"Morning morning?" she repeated. "Not nighttime morning?" 

"Yeah," he said. "You know, with sun. Like when we're in the office." 

"Right," she sighed. "The office. Business. The business of..." 

"Of running the country, Donna," he said loftily. "It's important. The most important thing most of us will ever do." 

"Got it," she said dejected as turned around as he started to leave again. "I am well versed in the Joshua Lyman credo: Democracy, duty and obligation take precedent over life, love and the pursuit of happiness." 

Her words were sharper than she intended. She held her breath and waited for a reaction. Josh stopped abruptly and snapped his fingers. He returned to her side and pointed at her. 

"Stunning," he said. 

"What?" 

"One of the words I was looking for," Josh said, turning back to her. 

He looked full into her eyes and brushed a strand of hair from her face. 

"I should have said stunning," he spoke softly. "When I meant very nice, but not those words." 

"Oh," she said. She felt her cheeks grow warm. "Thank you." 

"Donna, you didn't ask me because...," he said. 

"Because you always fix it, Josh," she replied quickly. "I had confidence in that." 

"You doubted me," he said, sounding hurt. "You didn't think I was coming back." 

"We were scared," she agreed. 

"I wouldn't leave you without saying good-bye," he said, running the back of his fingers along her jaw line. 

She drew closer to him. The serene contemplative look again formed on his face, but though she was right in front of him, he made no move to hide it. She met his eyes and tilted her chin upward. 

"Hey, you guys!" Sam shouted, shattering the moment. 

Josh stepped back quickly and faced Sam as the speech writer approached full of gusto and verve. 

"We're moving on," Sam proclaimed. "We got in touch with the President and the First Lady, Josh. They're over at the Watergate party now. We told them you're here. They were pleased, but now I think the President's mad at you. He said we should all move on to the quote next shindig end quote. But Toby is staying here at the bar--I think you did him in for the night, Josh. By the way, he's still checking with NTSB. Nothing more, but...." 

"I get it," Josh said, waving off any further details. "I'll get the story in the morning. I... Not tonight. Tonight is..." 

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "Well, CJ and I are joining the President and First Lady at the next thing. You coming?" 

Josh looked from Sam to Donna and back again. 

"No," Josh said. "Let CJ explain that the rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated. I'm done for the night." 

"Donna?" Sam asked. "You didn't get to have much fun yet. If you would like to be seen on the arm of the most sought after man on the president's staff, now's your chance." 

"Leo's looking for a date?" Josh asked. "You know, Donna, that could really improve your marketability on the job front." 

"You get one that," Sam said firmly poking a finger into Josh's chest. "But only because you're not dead. Hey, did you say Donna's looking for a new job?" 

"Yeah, she's realized that it's a term position," Josh said. 

"He offered to fire me early," she said. 

"Let him," Sam replied. "Leo will hire you. Josh can take Margaret." 

"No," he said. "Donna's mine." 

"Oh, she is?" 

"I am?" 

"Do you know how long it took me to get her whipped into shape?" Josh remarked. 

"You whipped me into shape?" she asked. 

"She doesn't even bring you coffee," Sam remarked. 

"Donna, where will you be tomorrow... or rather, later this morning when the sun is up and you are not getting me coffee?" Josh asked. 

"In the office helping you with the Senator Hannah thing," she responded. 

"Whipped, Sam," Josh sighed proudly. 

"Donna, we have tomorrow off," Sam replied. "Leo gave the staff the day off." 

"No, he didn't," Josh disagreed. 

"I think he did," Sam countered. 

"You also thought I was dead," Josh said. 

"The guy gets resurrected and suddenly he's omniscient," Sam remarked. 

"It's in the blood of my people," Josh replied. 

"Your people?" Sam repeated. "Harvard grads are such snobs. Okay, I'm leaving. Donna, last chance." 

She shook her head. 

"Well, we've got the limo," Sam said. "Can drop either of you guys any place?" 

"Yeah, I'm calling it a night," Josh said. "Donna, you should go. Leo looks like a fun date. Bet he's a hell of a dancer." 

"OK, now you're pushing it," Sam remarked. 

"I've had enough for one night," she said. "I think I'll go home, too. Do you mind, Sam?" 

"Nah, CJ and I will get dropped off first," he said. "You two get a ride home and send the car back for us." 


	3. In Love With The Fool

Body **Title**: Falling (part III): In Love with the Fool   
**Author**: Ellie   
**Website**: http://wing_nuts.tripod.com   
**Notes**: From Part II: _Josh arrived at the inaugural ball, having escaped the crash by not getting on the plane. He found Donna on the terrace and apologized for causing any worry. The emotion brought them close, but Sam's ill-timed arrival interrupted the near-intimate moment. They decided to forego any further inaugural celebrations to catch rides home in Sam's limousine._

********************************* 

_ I'm a fool, in love with a fool who doesn't know he is or that I am_, Donna mused gleefully as she walked along. _And I don't care._

They had taken the limousine most of the way to Josh's place. The city was in gridlock because of the increased police and Secret Service presence in the city. Josh suggested they walk back to his place and that Donna could get a ride from there. It wasn't far to walk, but it took time as her dainty heels were not meant for a brisk pace. 

They strolled down the quiet street. The bustle and hum of a city in celebration reverberated in the not-too-far distance. Donna casually looped her arm through Josh's during their promenade. She was unsure whether he noticed as he neither remarked on it nor pulled away. From his far off stare, she surmised he was lost in thought; his mind, like a master chest player, subtly tracking moves and counter moves for something as yet unspoken. She sighed softly as she watched him in her peripheral vision. 

"Did you say something?" he remarked suddenly as they climbed his steps. 

"No." 

"I thought you said something." 

"No," she said. "Did you want me to say something?" 

"No," he said. "Unless you had something to say." 

"No," she said as they entered the building and then his apartment. 

The heat inside was welcoming. She felt comfortable in Josh's space. She had spent much time here since she started worked in the White House. She practically lived in his apartment when he first came home from the hospital after the shooting. She shook her head, dismissing those memories. 

"Donna?" 

"Yes," she said stepping out of her trance. 

"What are you doing?" he asked through a yawn. 

By then, Josh was sitting on the couch with his head tipped back, looking at her over his shoulder. The questioning expression on his face and the wrinkle in his brow made her take stock. She realized she was standing in the middle of the floor, still cloaked in his jacket, shaking her head from side-to-side for no visible reason. 

"A proper gentleman would ask a lady to take a seat," Donna said simply. 

"If you find either of them in my place, let me know," Josh answered as he kicked his feet on to the coffee table. "Donna, sit! You're making me nervous." 

"You're kind of paranoid like that," she remarked drifting toward the couch. 

"I am not," he protested. 

"It's one of your issues," she said. 

"I don't have issues. I'm complex." 

"So you keep telling me," she said. "I mean, I don't think you're shallow...." 

"You think I'm shallow?" 

"I didn't say that." 

"Yes, you did," he said. 

"I said I don't think you're shallow," she replied. 

"We were talking abou tme being complex then you brought up the word shallow," he said. 

"I mentioned the word in a negative construction..." 

"Yeah, I'll say it was negative," he said. "Nice way to talk to the boss, Donna." 

"Josh, you don't always listen," she said. 

"So now I'm shallow and selectively deaf," he continued. 

"Josh." 

"I'll have you know when I got to the hotel tonight, there was quite a stir," he said. 

"Well, everyone thought you were dead." 

"No, after they knew I wasn't," he said. "Loads of attention, Donna. Accolades for my work on the campaign. I heard the word genius at least once." 

"Echoing over and over in your mind, no doubt." 

"Women swooned, Donna." 

"They swooned?" 

"Yes, they swooned," Josh stated matter-of-factly. "By the way, I kept up the spirit of our contract." 

"You did what?" 

"I did, so you can't yell at me." 

"I don't yell at you," she said confusedly. 

"You could have." 

"Where?" she asked. 

"At the office." 

"I never yell at the office," she said. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"I'm not sure," she said as she took a seat beside him. 

Sitting felt good. The heat felt good as well. She slipped off her shoes as she tipped her head back and sighed peacefully. The stillness was nice as well. She stared at the ceiling thinking of nothing in particular. She was content. It was a good evening. It had started out anxious, swiftly turned horrible and had resolved itself into normalcy. She smiled as she realized that it was, in fact, a metaphor of what life was like with Josh. The next crisis was probably less than 24 hours away, but the lull could be enjoyed for its simple act of being nothing special. 

Gradually, she became aware of the quiet. She could sense he was looking at her. It was a thoughtful stare that she could not interpret through a sideways glance. She wanted to turn and stare back, but she did not want to break his gaze. She could literally feel the tingle of his eyes upon her. She closed her eyes briefly and took a slow, deep breath. 

When she opened her eyes again, pale rays of winter sunlight were streaming through the windows. She could hear a dull throb lulling her back to sleep. She came to consciousness slowly, in stages. First, she noted the sound, then the warmth beneath her cheek. Next she noted the room; it was not in her apartment. Finally, she noticed his arms encircling her as she huddled close to his chest. 

An awkward feeling came over Donna. She was exhilarated and scared. She had dreamed of waking up in Josh's arms many times--more times than she dared to admit--yet it felt strange. 

_ What do I do now?_ she wondered. _How do I handle this? Will he be mad if I leave now? Will he be angry if I don't? Does he even know I'm here? How did this happen? Who fell asleep first? Should I wake him? We have to work today, don't we?_

"Does this sudden onset of fidgeting mean you're awake, or are you having a seizure?" Josh asked plainly though he sounded half asleep. 

Donna pursed her lips and tilted her head to look at him. His eyes were partly open and fixed on her. She sat up and shivered as she left the warmth of his body. He blinked hard and stretched and rolled his neck. 

"I... uh.... Sorry, I fell asleep," she said inanely. "You didn't have to stay out here with me." 

"You sort of leaned this way," he said. "I didn't want to wake you." 

"Oh," she said and felt a misty pink fill her cheeks. "Josh..." 

"Donna, about you working with me," he said. "I was kidding." 

"I know you couldn't to fire me," she said. "I've known that since you hired me in New Hampshire." 

"No, I meant about working today," he said. "What do you mean I couldn't fire you? I could fire you." 

"No, you couldn't." 

"I've fired lots of people," he said. 

"That's sounds very authoritative of you." 

"Thank you." 

"The image would be very powerful if you didn't have make up all over your shirt," she said. 

"What?" he exclaimed as he noticed the smears. "Donna!" 

"Don't shout," she said. "It's morning. People are sleeping." 

"We're not sleeping." 

"No. We're not. Very good." 

A sudden knocking on the door followed by a laugh that could belong only to Sam Seaborn sounded in the hall. 

"Hey, you in there?" Sam called. "Josh! I can hear you. Open up." 

Josh went to the door. He looked through the spy hole, shook his head then opened the door. Sam stumbled into the room looking glassy-eyed and rumpled in his formerly-crisp tuxedo. He held an unopened bottle of champagne. 

"Well, well," Sam said. "You're still wearing your formal threads. Did you just get in?" 

"No," Josh said closing the door. "Apparently your evening went well?" 

"It did," Sam said with a grin. "I spent a good, long while toasting with several of our friends on the Hill. We toasted to the new term and the old term. We toasted both sides of the aisle for the upcoming battles on education, health care and gun control. We toasted to the memory of the late Fred Drummer, God rest him. And yes, even you. You will be gratified to hear, I and large number of contributors to the DNC and even a few GOP members tipped a glass in your honor." 

"The GOP?" Josh remarked. "Were they aware I'm still alive?" 

"I wasn't sure," Sam said. "But, since you didn't come to partake in your resurrection, I brought this for you." 

He handed Josh his bottle and laughed loudly. He turned around and finally noticed Donna. 

"Well, well, well," he said. "Good morning, indeed." 

"Yeah, I'm going to take a shower," Josh said, handing the bottle to Donna. "You two entertain yourselves. Donna, I think Sam wants some coffee." 

Josh left the room. Sam kicked his legs over the back of the couch and landed deftly beside Donna with his arms draped over her shoulders. 

"Ms. Moss." 

"Mr. Seaborn," she said. 

"I don't want coffee." 

"I wasn't getting you any," she replied. "Well, you're in a fairly disreputable state for this hour of the morning." 

"You are correct," Sam said with a definite nod. "Life is good. What, may I ask, are you doing here at this hour?" 

"Same thing as you," Donna replied. 

"What am I doing here?" 

"I have no idea." 

"Excellent," he agreed. "So tell me, what did you kids do last night?" 

"Well, we took a walk because traffic was at a standstill," she said. "Then we came back here. We had a discussion." 

"About what?" 

"I'm not certain, but Josh assured me women swooned," she said. 

"Did he tell you that?" Sam exclaimed. "Yeah. There is something wrong there, don't you think?" 

"So, the women didn't swoon?" 

"No, they did," Sam said testily. "I saw it. I don't get it. I'm more handsome. I'm also a snappy dresser--daper some might say--a fine wordsmith, and I was a real lawyer. I had real clients and everything. Okay, so I wasn't a Fulbright Scholar, but I'm a smart guy, don't you think?" 

"Sell yourself high, Sam." 

"Thank you," he replied. "So what did you do?" 

"We talked and then we fell asleep." 

"By that you mean... 

"I mean, we fell asleep," Donna said with emphasis. "I dozed off, and Josh didn't want to wake me so he let me sleep here--on the couch." 

"Yeah, that sounds innocent enough," Sam agreed. "I'd find it to be a credible story except there was make up--your make up no doubt--all over his clothes. So, it finally happened, huh?" 

"What?" 

"You and Josh," he laughed loudly. "Josh and you. Josh and Donna. Ha, ha! The never beginning, never ending west wing love story." 

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said stiffly. 

"Donna, I saw you last night before we knew.... well, you know," Sam said soberly. "Everyone knows, everyone can see, how you feel about Josh. It's a well-known secret." 

"I care for Josh," she said. "He's my boss, and I respect him." 

"I respect Toby and Leo, but I wouldn't wear a slinky dress to impress them," Sam said. 

"Who would you wear a slinky dress for, Sam?" 

"Certainly not Josh." 

"I was going to the Inaugural Ball," Donna said. 

"Yeah, only I heard you talking to Carol two days ago, and you said you were wearing 'a red dress that was elegant with classic lines'," Sam said mocking her voice. "That was when you were going to go with that other guy. However, what you wore for Josh..." 

"I wore it for the event." 

"_What you wore for Josh_," Sam continued, "was a slinky, sexy, blue number cut all the way down the back and slit all the way up the side. Did he notice?" 

"What kind of question is that?" 

"A serious one," Sam replied. "I'm not making a joke. I'm curious if he noticed. You looked fabulous last night, Donna. I just wanted you to know in case the absent-minded politician was either too shy or too stupid to say so." 

"He said I looked very nice," she responded. 

"Very nice," Sam repeated. "That's the best he could do?" 

"No, he said stunning," Donna said holding her chin up. "But he didn't like my hair." 

"He said that?" Sam guffawed. "Do you know why do women swoon, Donna? Because they don't know him!" 

"He likes my hair down," Donna said loftily. 

Sam smirked and leaned close to her. 

"I'll bet he does," Sam said lecherously. "So, what's the real story?" 

"There is no story," she said. 

"Man, I've gotta get the two of you in therapy," he announced. "Look, just between friends, I understand that it's complicated since you have this boss/assitant thing, but do us all a favor, Donna. Jump him, OK?I think he'll be a hell of a lot easier to deal with if he gets laid once in a while, you know. I know that's crass, but I am entirely too inebriated to be eloquent now. You've got the hots for him, and he's mad about you. That's enough." 

"He is?" she asked doubtfully. 

"Oh yeah," Sam nodded. "Big time, but don't tell him I said so." 

"He told you?" 

"No," Sam said. "The First Lady." 

"Josh told the First Lady he's mad about me?" 

"No, Leo." 

"Josh is mad about Leo?" 

"No." 

"Leo is mad about the First Lady?" 

"Donna, my head is spinning already, don't make it worse," Sam said rubbing his temples. "Okay, I can get this straight. The First Lady overheard you once when you and Josh walked by in one of your normal bickering sessions." 

"We don't bicker." 

"I was being colorful," Sam insisted. "The First Lady was then talking to the President and mentioned what she saw. She said you and Josh bicker like an old married couple, and she remarked on the obvious chemistry between you. The President and Leo were talking about the staff and that subject came up just as Josh walked into the room. He asked what they were talking about and the President said 'Donna and you.' Apparently, Josh made a snide remark and left." 

"He made a snide remark to Leo and the President about me and that's how you know?" 

"He wasn't the President yet," Sam said. "Oh wait, I forgot the part where he blushed." 

"The President?" 

"No, Josh." 

"Josh doesn't blush." 

"He does when people talk about you in a certain way," Sam sighed. "So, I'm guessing he hasn't poured his heart out to you yet?" 

"No." 

"Damn!" Sam said. "CJ is going to win the pool." 

"What pool?" 

"The one on when Josh will finally come to his senses and realize that he's been searching for what is already there: You," Sam said. "Sure, he can make a US Senator cry, but really. I think we all know Josh's just a big chicken about this kind of stuff. I mean, he had his flings with Mandy and there was that thing with the Lucas chick. Those were nothing. You... He's smitten with you, Donnatella Moss, and it scares the hell out of him." 

Before Donna could react, Josh appeared again. He was dressed in faded jeans and a Harvard sweatshirt Donna had considered stealing for years. She stifled a smile as he eyed them suspiciously. 

"This is my cue to leave," Sam said standing unsteadily. 

"Well that's too bad," Josh said blandly as he opened the door. "Going to work?" 

"Um, no," Sam said. "I have a limousine outside idling. I am going to my apartment, where I expect shortly to have a guest with whom I will have a better morning than you did." 

"Sorry to see you go," Josh said flatly. 

Sam paused at the door. 

"I think I've been very helpful here," he said and winked confidentially to Josh. 

"Gratified, really," Josh said and shut the door immediately. "And I'm the one Toby has conniption fits about. I'm starving. You want breakfast?" 

She nodded. However, he searched the cupboards and came up mostly empty. He told her he would run out to the store and be back shortly. She nodded and watched him go. 

She decided her dress no longer looked stunning and was disappointed. She pawed through Josh's clothing and retrieved a pair of sweats and a shirt. They would be a bit big but comfortable. She climbed into the shower and washed the remnants from the previous evening away. She felt the release of the horrible events of the evening. She dressed in his clothing, again breathing in his scent and feeling that warm spot deep inside. She was piling her damp hair on top of her head when she heard him return. He shouted something she could not understand. 

"What?" she asked peering from behind the door. 

"I said I brought you coffee as well," he said. His back was to her. He had a newspaper in front of him. "There's a lesson here. Josh, good boss. Donna, bad assistant." 

She shook her head and went back to the bathroom to finish with her hair. She looked at herself in the mirror then released the clip holding her hair in place. She tousled her hair, letting it fall loose past her shoulders. 

She walked to the kitchen, retrieved her coffee and a bagel. She looked at the clock for the first time. It was just after 8 a.m. She joined him on the couch where he was intently reading an OpEd piece in the New York Times. From his scowl, she deduced that what he was reading displeased him. 

"Bad news?" 

"When isn't it?" he remarked. 

"So?" 

"So what?" 

"Guess I should get going," she said with a shrug. 

"Got plans?" 

"Not really," she replied. 

"Then what's your rush," he said. 

"Nothing, I guess," she said. "Um, Josh." 

"Donna." 

"Are you going to work today?" 

"Later," he said. "You?" 

"No," she said. "Unless you need me." 

"Nah," he said and finally looked at her appeared taken back. The hint of a smile flashed on his lips, but he stopped it quickly. "Comfortable?" 

"No," she said. "My feet are cold. I forgot to look for socks." 

He sighed and stood. He walked back to his room. Donna followed. He put the paper on the top of his bureau. Donna grabbed it. 

"Give that back," he said. 

"No, you either get grouchy or ignore me when you read the paper," she said, holding it behind her back. 

"Donna, stop it," he said. "Give it to me." 

"No." 

"Donna." 

"Josh." 

"Don't make me take it away from you," he warned 

"Like you could," she scoffed. 

He bowed his head and shook it. Before she was prepared, he reached behind her and got a partial grip on the pages. She tried turned around to wrench it from him, but he held firm. They wrestled for a second until she tripped over a pair of shoes. 

"Careful," he said letting go of the paper reached for her. 

Together, they stumbled onto the bed. Donna froze for a moment, locked in his grasp, staring into his eyes. The moment lasted a second longer than necessary. Without thinking, she placed her lips to his and kissed him tentatively. She pulled away shocked and unsure. She looked back at him. He sported a confused expression. 

"Josh, I..." 

Before she could finish, he met her lips again and kissed her deeply. Shivers raced up and down her spine. Her knees trembled and her palms were sweating. 

****************************** 

Donna breathed softly as she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. The curtains were still drawn in Josh's bedroom though it was nearing noon. He was silent but awake. She could tell because he lightly traced her spine with his fingertips. She had no need for conversation. Indeed, what was there to say, she wondered. 

The phone rang. Josh reached for it. 

"Yeah," he said. "Sam.... No, I didn't go to work yet, that's how I answered the phone here.... No, I'm not in a bad mood. In fact, I'm going to compliment you. Let me say I'm impressed you were capable of dialing the phone.... What? Donna?" 

She looked up at him; he shook his head briefly and continued to speak. 

"Of course, I saw her today," Josh continued. "You saw her here if you recall.... Uh, she asked if I needed her in the office and I didn't think so, but I'll probably change my mind.... Okay, so I am a bastard... I'll think of some way to make it up to her... Don't worry about it, Sam.... I'll be nice to her today." 

Josh hung up the phone and laughed quietly. 

"I noticed you didn't mention..." 

"No," he said. "That okay?" 

"Yeah," she said. "I prefer it." 

"I thought so," he said. "But I guess we should...." 

"Talk?" 

"Yeah," he said. "Technically, you could have a colossal sexual harassment suit here." 

"I don't feel sexually harassed." 

"I meant me," he said. 

"Josh!" 

"Kidding, Donna," he said. "Don't start taking me seriously now. But we may have a problem." 

"How so?" 

"Well...." 

"Yeah," she agreed. "What's next?" 

"Up to you," he said. 

"Josh, you know... I mean, for the longest time...," she said. "I don't want it to affect how we work. If it does, then we can just write this off as unexpected." 

"Unexpected?" he said. "Donna, half the office thinks we sleep together already. The other half have a pool going for when." 

"You know about that?" 

"Toby told me," he said. 

"When?" 

"A while ago," Josh replied. "After he lost, he told me the whole thing. He told me what CJ bet and said he would appreciate it if I could see that she doesn't win. So, I thought about it..." 

"Josh!" 

"Shhh," he said soothingly and kissed the top of her head. "Don't shout." 

"So who won?" 

"I think Sam did," he said. "But we aren't going to tell him, right? I mean, I'm not... There's nothing wrong with this, is there?" 

"I don't think so." 

"Okay, but we should, you know..." 

"Keep it to ourselves?" she suggested. 

"You think?" 

"Yeah," she said. "I can do that. No one will know. It can be our special secret." 

"It might even work," he said. "You're one of the few who doesn't swoon." 

"Want to know something?" 

"Sure." 

"I do, Josh." 

"You what?" 

"I swoon, but I hide it." 

"I know," he said. 

"You did?" 

"Yeah," he replied. 

"When?" 

"When what?" 

"When did you know I swoon?" 

"When you tripped over my shoes," Josh said. "Classic swoon maneuver, Donna." 

"So, you're going to the office?" 

"Yeah," he said. "You?" 

"Yeah," she said. "You got that Hannah thing." 

"Donna," he said. 

"Josh?" 

"Nothing." 

"Okay." 


End file.
